I was escorting Emily and Mr. Floppy to safety. While I was walking them to the camp, Mr. Floppy came under attack!
[5:37:44] Emily says: Um... I think one of those wolves is back...
[5:37:47] Emily says: He's going for Mr. Floppy!
[5:37:53] Emily says: There's a big meanie attacking Mr. Floppy! Help!
I immediately sprang into action, disposing of the big meanie swiftly.
[5:38:03] Emily says: Let's get out of here before more wolves find us!
And so we quickly walked away from the big meanie's corpse at an extremely slow pace! As we were strolling through the woods, Mr. Floppy came under attack again!
[5:38:37] Emily says: There's a big meanie attacking Mr. Floppy! Help!
Poor Emily must have forgotten her glasses at the lodge as there were TWO bears ferociously charging poor Mr. Floppy. I engaged one of the bears while Mr. Floppy dutifully tanked the other. As the first bear fell to the ground, I turned around to see Mr. Floppy barely scratched. Mr. Floppy was quite the beastly tank! However, it was clear that Mr. Floppy was fighting a losing battle. I began assisting Mr. Floppy knowing that teamwork (!) was the key to winning this incredible battle. And soon, the second bear fell to the ground.
Emily appeared to be completely unphased at the amazing event that had just happened. She was giving me the silent treatment but I could tell she was upset. We quietly speeded away from the deceased bears at an excruciatingly slow pace. But wait! What's this?
[5:39:59] Emily says: Oh, no! Look, it's another wolf, and it's a biiiiiiig one!
The biiiiiiig wolf snatched up Mr. Floppy into his mouth and began wrestling him through the air! Mr. Floppy was caught completely off guard!
[5:40:03] Emily says: He's gonna eat Mr. Floppy! You gotta help Mr. Floppy! You just gotta!
I just gotta! ...immediately start taking pictures! The golden rule flashed through my head! I must have proof or something this awe-inspiring could not have possibly happened! I got as many pictures as I could. Some at different angles. Some from afar! Some from aclose! The Great Mr. Floppy being completely overpowered could not pass by undocumented!
[5:40:32] Emily says: Don't go toward the light, Mr. Floppy!
OH %^&*! The Great Mr. Floppy was dying!
I roared at the wolf, hoping to scare it...
[5:40:34] You roar with bestial vigor at Ravenous Worg. So fierce!
I pleaded with him...
[5:40:35] You plead with Ravenous Worg.
... all to no effect. I then knew what I had to do...
With great testicular fortitude, I laid into the big meanie, forcing him to release The Great Mr. Floppy from his hold. I tore him limb from limb. The Great Mr. Floppy was saved!
... or so I had thought. The Great Mr. Floppy was fatally wounded during his final battle against the big meanie.
[5:40:37] Emily says: Mr. Floppy, you're ok! Thank you so much for saving Mr. Floppy!
Poor Emily didn't appear to be aware that Mr. Floppy was no longer with us. Mr. Floppy had gone to bunny heaven, but Emily to this day stands next to her dead Mr. Floppy awaiting for him to get up and proceed to the camp in a mercilessly-slow hop.
TheWoWDB
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