despite the lower-level of this quest, it's actually shaping up to be the winner of the "Quest of the year" award, due to it's sheer awesomeness.
in this quest, YOU are the questgiver.
you don't really have to do anything, just sit back and have a few laughs as the hillarious dialog ensues.
basically, you get 3 quests that you gotta give to someone else, just get on the pale skeletal horse next to you, and ta-dah now u're a questgiver (complete with the "!" above your head)
then watch as 3 NPC's (representing 3 stereotypes of players) come to you, and take your quests, once u've given them those quests, you get off the horse, and u're done.
the following dialoge happens with the 3 NPC's
High Executor Darthalia says: Stand tall and proud, <name>. Don't let any of these scrubs give you any trouble. Show them who's boss!
High Executor Darthalia says: I see one coming now! Looks like a real winner. Keep it cool, <name>. Keep it cool.
A level 19 character named Dumass walks in, saying everything in capital letters.
Dumass says: HI! HI! HELP!
Dumass says: HI! HI! HELP!
Dumass says: HI! I'M NEW! BIG WHITE LIGHT CREATURE WITH WINGS MADE ME ALIVE! I SERVE THE BANSHEE QUEEN! YAY!
HELP!
HI!
Maybe you should go take a nap or something. I don't know if I have any work for you.
Dumass says: OK! THANKS! I'LL JUST WAIT HERE WITH YOU! THANKS! OK!
Wait a minute. It looks like something just came up. Yes, right here on this sheet of paper. You need to head southeast to to the Azurelode Mine and report to Captain Keyton. Southeast is that way *you point southeast*.
Dumass says: NORTH! GOT IT! THANKS! BYE! THANKS!
High Executor Darthalia says: These new Forsaken tend to be a little... um... stupid. It usually takes awhile for them to acclimate.
High Executor Darthalia says: Oh great... not this one again. I know this orc. He's got no business being here, but since he's a bottom-feeding pansy he likes to hang around here and prey on the helpless. Don't let him bully you.
The level 80 Kingslayer Orkus of the guild <Red Like My Rage> flies in on his frost wyrm mount, fully equipped with tier 10 gear.
Kingslayer Orkus yells: CAN YOU SMELL WHAT THE LOK'TAR IS COOKIN'?
Kingslayer Orkus says: HAH! Looks like you're running out of idiots to put atop this horse, Darthalia. This is the puniest one yet.
Kingslayer Orkus says: What have you got for me today, weakling? Point me to where the Alliance hide and I shall DOMINATE THEM!
Kingslayer Orkus says: I have seen the fall of the Lich King. Creations of the titans have fallen before my mighty axe. When called upon, I alone spearheaded a victory for the Argent Crusade against the beasts of Northrend. Now, I come for the ultimate challenge. What does Hillsbrad Foothills have to offer Kingslayer Orkus?
Um... Apparently there are bloodthirsty worgen running rampant in the south. Maybe you could help with them?
Kingslayer Orkus says: Bloodthirsty you say? Is there any risk of death or dismemberment to me?
None.
Kingslayer Orkus says: Then Orkus WILL DO IT! YES!
Right, thanks. Just go ahead and head south. Far south. Probably off the coast.
Kingslayer Orkus says: Yes, cowardly quest giver, sit atop your pale horse while Orkus brings glory to the Horde! I shall return with a thousand skulls!
High Executor Darthalia says: Here's to hoping he never returns. Maybe he'll drown?
High Executor Darthalia says: Ah, crap. You're on your own with this one, <name>.
Johnny Awesome, a level 20 blood elf, of the <Uber Town> guild rides in on a Celestial Steed and fully equipped with heirlooms.
Johnny Awesome says: Johnny Awesome has arrived, philistine. Present me with your menial tasks so that I may complete them with only mild enthusiasm and most likely a complete disregard for any directions that you provide that are more complicated than what my map is able to display.
Johnny Awesome says: Look at me, peasant. Heirlooms cover my body from head to toe, gifted to me by the greatest heroes Azeroth has ever known.
Now look at yourself.
Quickly, look back at me.
Yes, this IS horse made of STARS.
What pointless series of tasks befitting a mentally deficient orc have you prepared for me?
Well, we are having some problems at the Sludge Fields, located northeast of here. Warden Stillwater could use your help.
Johnny Awesome says: Fine, fine, what else?
That's all.
Johnny Awesome says: That's all? One quest? Surely you jest. Are there not bear asses to collect? Perhaps a rare flower that I could pick from which you will make some mildly hallucinogenic tonic which you will then drink, resulting in visions of a great apocalypse? Perhaps the local populace of mildly annoying, ill-tempered gophers are acting up and need to be brought to justice? No? Nothing?
THAT'S ALL, JOHNNY AWESOME. TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT!
Johnny Awesome says: I will do this ONE thing that you ask of me, quest giver. Pray I find more menial tasks to accomplish or you will be hearing from me again and I assure you that my commentary on forums of public opinion will be most unkind.
is obvious that the 3 NPCs represent 3 THICK stereotypes of players, with dumass representing the n00b idiots who don't pay atention to any simple instructions and say all in caps, Orkus represents the elitist player who somehow belives to be superior to the rest due to his or her acomplishments, yet frowns on taking an actual challenge, and prefer to display bravado by killing stuff that is in no way a real danger to them.
Johnny Awesome is....... urg I better not start xD
after this rather hillarius dialog, just dismount from the horse, turn your quest in, and with this your days doing "desk jobs" are over, it's just so much easier to build and lead a 25man raid than put up with the diferent kinds of players as a quest-giver isn't it?
this quest is full of references, for example the quest name and the opening sentence of the quest refers to the songs "Welcome to the Machine" and "Have a Cigar" by Pink Floyd respectively.
and the "Now look at yourself. Quickly, look back at me. Yes, this IS horse made of STARS." quote by Johnny Awesome is a reference to an Old Spice commercial.
Kudos to blizzard for making what is arguably the most memorable quest in online gaming.
Edit: Typos, and also added the full dialog
TheWoWDB
